Recently, I’ve been facing difficulties at my job. An employee I used to work closely with is now seemingly ‘out to get me.’ Now there is no point or benefit in going into the details, but I will say this experience has put me into the fire, so to speak.
I have thought of so many childish ways of getting back at this individual. Even going as far so undermining them in somewhere. I’ve had to stop myself more times than I’d like to admit from going over to the dark side. During this time, I have asked the why me question. Why am I going through this, what lesson I am to learn? And though I know God has His hand over this situation the stress I’ve been experiencing has started to take a toll. I’ve let myself become consume with running the ‘what if’ scenarios, and worrying over things completely out of my control.
Finally, I woke up and realized that maybe I’m going through this situation, at least in some part, to help me let go and let God. But even with that knowledge the control freak in me has had a hard time following through. But prayer has definitely calm me and grounded me when I’ve been close to wavering. As I bring my problems to the Lord, I start to hear myself and the words I’m saying become clearer.
Now my work situation has gone from bad to worst and back again, but there is peace that comes with knowing that you’re doing the right thing. Even if it won’t be recognized by others, God will know. My prayers have shifted from asking to have my situation solved, to asking for strengthen, and do what is right no matter what happens.
Of course, my husband and I still spend our fair share of hours talking about it, but slowly I’ve been working on not dwelling on it. There will always be hardships and storms, but what makes each experience different is not what happens to us, but how we react. I don’t want this person and situation to change me for the worst.
So to all of you facing difficult times, please take heart. That person or situation only has as much power as you allow it to. So stop spinning your wheels trying to solve your problems. I wasted too many sleepless nights with worry, and stress before I brought it to God when all He has ever wanted was for me (and all of us) to turn to Him.
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Thank you God for knowing my problems and never letting me face them alone. Please give me the strengthen to do your will even when that means to be still and silent. Help me to remember that this time will pass. I give it all to you Lord and pray that your will be done. -Amen