With four kids the days can almost blend, one fading into another. It can be hard to take time and pause to enjoy the moment. When my house is quiet (between 8:30 to noon), and all but one of my children are at school I have time, a moment to breath. So Monday-Friday between those hours it is just me and my seven month old daughter.
She is a good baby. She can self-play at times, and only cries when there is a ‘real’ reason. Though she has only started sleeping six hours straight at night, I’m thankful and hope that eight hours of sleep is just around the corner. She is developing her personality, and she doesn’t give away he smiles to anyone easily. But she is the happiest baby. Her smile can brighten anyone’s day because she doesn’t just smile with her mouth, but with every part of her being.
Today, after getting my kids off to school I returned home feeling as if a wave of exhaustion crashed over me. I sat down with the t.v. on (not really watching) as a zoned out. My baby was playing in her little floor gym in front of me. When I looked down, she smiled at me. That smile made me feel happy and sad all at the same time.
You never know the difficulties you’ll face when you have multiple children. How your attention is divided and how your energy may not be spent equally with them each day. I felt bad, wondering how may days I’ve used the time my three children were at school to catch up on housework, running errands, or even enjoying reading/writing. What about the baby? Wasn’t this time to be spent with her?
As I picked her up I realized something. Yes, I will still allow myself to have ‘me time,’ but if my baby cakes wasn’t napping (that’s our little nickname for her) then I’d do more with her. And if I must run errands or clean the house then I’d be sure to have music on (she loves music). I’d dance around her (trying to get a smile), sing to her (so she knows I haven’t forgotten that she’s there).
What my sweet baby has reminded me to do is to give her more time, and enjoy all my children and the innocence they all entered the world with. My baby cakes is a sweetie and has that amazing baby smell (which until I became a mother I didn’t understand). She loves me, even when I’m too busy to get on the floor and play. She loves me, even when I make her go from store to store with me when she rather be at home. She loves me no matter what mood I’m in.
All babies start out this way, but somehow we forget as they grow. We let our focus turn to how they’re behavior is when out, or how well their doing at school. Now, of course, these are important issues to be mindful of, but it should not consume us.
So I’m going to try and look into each of my children’s faces today and see that innocence. Not that I won’t make them accountable when they have done something wrong, but I’ll do better at addressing the issue and moving on.
We are big on hugging in our family, and that love will continue but in a bigger way. More singing, dancing, cheering for one anyone. No, I didn’t hit my head, and I don’t expect our life to be like a cheesy comedy. But I know that I can set the tone in our home, and I want that to include more laughter and smiles. Yes, we are happy (in our wild, loud, crazy way), and what’s wrong with wanting every day to be more joyful than the last? It is as honest of a goal as anyone could have. And it was all inspired by a baby’s smile.
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