When becoming a mother there is one question we are all faced with; once your child is born will you be a SAHM (stay at home mom) or a career mom. No matter what your friends or family may say there is no right answer, but there are three basic questions you should ask yourself.
- Can you afford to be a SAHM? For some cutting their income in half just isn’t reality. But if your not sure if you can afford to stay home beyond your maternity leave then you need to sit down and seriously go over your monthly expenses. I know it can be hard leaving your sweet pea, but being home stress about funds isn’t doing your little one any favors.
- What are the sacrifices you’ll have to make (SAHM/Career)? No matter what you decide you’ll be giving up something. Understanding what each decision is going to require from you may have the transition easier. It’s the classic pro/con list and only you (and your spouse) can decide what makes since for your family.
- What do you want to do? Some women know that what they will do before they’re even pregnant. But if you change your mind, or just have no idea that’s OK. Take your time when making this decision, and don’t let others have you second guessing.
When became pregnant with our first my husband, and I had long said that I’d stay at home. But not until I was a SAHM did I understand what that moment. It was lonely, and that was a complete surprise to me. Until I got into a rhythm, I felt a little lost. No with little to no adult interaction during the week made the days seem to drag by. I also had to adjust to not having my own income. I had been working since my senior year in high school so having to have funds set aside from my husbands check for me felt odd. Not that he wasn’t glad to kick down some spending money my way, but I couldn’t help but disliking being dependent that way.
Now on the flip side I did return to work for a time when our daughter was a toddler because I felt ready to move on. But once I was at work I worried about her. I wondered if she was taking her naps, and eating well. If I came home from work and found her fussy, I’d felt terrible for leaving her. But if I returned and she was fair then I’d feel bad because she didn’t need me. So no matter what you do, for however long you chose to do it for, you’ll always wonder if you’re making the right decision. And the only thing I can say is that if your baby is safe and happy then you’ve made the right choice.
And please moms don’t waste your time being part of the ‘mommy wars.’ There should never be SAHM vs. Career Moms because we’re all working moms. So stop the guilt and rock your choice.