I am a talker (and I’d like to think a writer too) by nature. I usually have a hundred stories running through my head, or a thousand ideas to share. But the last few days I’ve been at a loss on what to say. There is so much going on this month that I can’t seem to think straight. I have two Christmas Programs to attend, wrapping presents ‘still’, Secret Santa gifts (for my kiddos) class parties to buy along with snacks, and doctor appointments to get to. Oh and let me not forget that it’s my turn to volunteer in my Kindergartners class during the last week of school, just to name a few. My mind is full and my pockets empty.
The term that comes to mind in this situation is mama brain; which refers to the forgetfulness of a busy mom, but this feels like a gross understatement for what I’m experiencing. I have so much I want to say but organizing my thoughts seems nearly impossible. Just writing this short statement has been a battle. I barely get a thought together when I have to pause to change a dirty diaper, help with homework, or resolve a sibling disagreement. Yup, the glamorous life of being a parent. And yes, I know what you’re thinking writing when my kids are around probably isn’t a great idea.
But even when my house is relatively quiet, and I am free to write uninterrupted I seem to draw a blank. I can’t help but wonder if this is common for other parents out there. Barring an emergency situation or a traumatic experience can someone really lose the able to communicate merely because they have a full calendar or is this a simple case of writer’s block?
Now, this hasn’t just affected my writing, but also my ability to have a conversation. For instance, my husband calls daily to check in during his lunch break and I find myself distracted. We usually share how our day has been going; which is a relief because I usually have something to vent about. But for the last couple of days its as if I have a listening problem. I hear just fine, but being able to listen actively has been a struggle. My brain seems to be saying, “I have too much information, can not take anymore….shutting down.”
Well, whatever this is I hope that my mind can unwind. My goal for tonight is to get a good nights sleep. Exhaustion, come to think of it, maybe another issue that I haven’t factored into this equation. And hopefully the closer I get to checking off all the things on my to-do list the closer it will bring me to being back to my usual wordy, and chatty self.