Lady D Speaks

This subject seems to pop up yearly like clockwork. Whether it’s an individual daydreaming of the future, or a couple taking their first step in deciding to start a family, to the husband and wife questioning whether they’re done. We have all been at one of these stages at some point. For me, the first time I can remember thinking about it was around the age of sixteen. As an only child, I just knew I’d have four children. And by ‘knew’ I meant hoped. There was no real rhyme or reason as to why I chose that number. I just knew I wanted my future children to have someone to grow up with. Fast forwarding to after the birth of our first child, I quickly changed my tune. How can people have multiple children, I thought as I was on my fifty-fifth day of sleep deprivation? At that point I again just ‘knew’ that I wasn’t going to have anymore kids.

When reality set in, my husband and I realized that we had no idea how many kids we wanted or what would be the right number for us. But as you can see from my page I ‘ironically’ did end up with four munchkins . But even today my thoughts on the matter vary. Some days are overwhelming. Like I’m the warden at an insane asylum, or maybe I’m one of the patients (that is sometimes unclear). But then there are those other days. The days all parents live for. All the kids are getting along and the weather is just right. Things seem perfect and exactly like how you’ve dreamt it would be…OK, maybe that’s a little over the top but you get the idea. Then, in that moment, you start wondering if you should add another little rug-rat to the mix.

And that’s entirely normal. Because deciding how many kids to have isn’t an exact science. And your ideal number can change depending on a number of factors, because there is no perfect number! So though people may say to make this decision solely based on facts alone i.e. your household income, living space, etc. (which is important to consider), the truth is this decision is as much about your head as it is your heart.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that whether it’s your first or last child the decision can be an emotional, stressful, and even maddening one. But hey, its all training for your lifetime job, as a parent.