Lady D Speaks

For the past few months, my family has been very busy packing up our home. We are currently in escrow, so there is no time to waste. I am excited to see where the future will lead and to think of all the new experiences we’ll have. But a few times, from a few different people I have been given the impression that our move is in some way bad for our child. Phrases like, ‘put down roots,’ or ‘kids need stability’ have been thrown around. For a moment I had to stop and ask myself, is moving bad for kids?

Now, let me clarify. This move is the first my husband and I have done since having children. And I don’t disagree that stability is important for children. Where I do have an issue is with the idea that the act of moving in and of itself is harmful. Many families relocate on a regular basis, yet their stability has to come from more than their surroundings.

As a child, I grew up in one home my whole life, and today my parents still live there. I can go back and revisit my old room anytime. Yes, there are a lot of memories there. But if my parents were to call me tomorrow and say that they’ve sold their home, well I’d be just fine. I would, of course, miss driving by the same neighbor when visiting, and walking down the same small hallway as I did when I was a child. But my home isn’t a building; my home is wherever my family is.

Now, I am aware that this is a statement from the perspective of a now 30 some year old me. As a child, I may have feared a move, or resented my parents for forcing me to leave my friends. Yes, moving means leaving things and people behind. But our hands aren’t left empty, just free to grab hold of what the future has in store for us. Stability in childhood doesn’t come from staying in one place. It comes from feeling safe and unconditionally loved by those we call family. And most importantly it comes from having faith in a steadfast God who wants only good for us.

Case in point. I have had the privilege to become friends with a woman who has lived in more states than I’ve visited. For many reasons she has bravely moved her son and herself to where she felt called to go. And after spending time with her son let me tell you what I’ve observed. His behavior doesn’t reflect the attitude consider ‘normal’ of most teenagers. And I mean that in the best way possible. He is the most respectful, will adjusted kid I know. Nothing about him shouts resentful or troubled. That’s not to say he hasn’t experienced loss and even grief from each move. But I believe it provided him with a unique understanding of what’s important in life.

Ever families journey is different, and I don’t presume to know if this will be our last move or one in a chain. But I do know that my children will learn that change is neither all good or bad. Change is only something being different. What we do and how we react to change is directly related to how we feel about it. I don’t want my children to fear change. Because in life change is inevitable. Run towards it or from it, but it will happen.

Stability needs to come from something more than our location. So, no I will not feel bad for changing things up. My husband and I have sound reasons for why we considered moving in the first place. And we have spent more hours in prayer asking for God’s guidance on the matter. Without a doubt I know he has answered and has called us to move.

Now, if someone tells me that they believe this move is unnecessary, or poor timing because of our children’s ages, etc. I’ll respond by saying, thanks for caring, but we’ve got this. Being a parent doesn’t mean you’ll always make the right decisions, but that you’ll make the hard ones. I have no way of knowing how this move will change my family, but I’m willing to take a leap of faith. Because in my opinion moving doesn’t cause instability. If it exists, however, the move may reveal it.

May God bless you in your travels.