Just before my 20th birthday I decided to create my first bucket list. Being a listing geek, it’s not surprising that I’d write out my future goals. For me, writing down where I’d hope to be in ten years was a way to keep myself accountable.
To keep me chasing those dreams. Recalling my list it would have looked a little something like this:
- Get married
- Buy a house
- Travel
- Start a family
There was nothing wild and risky about my list. The words standard, traditional (or boring) may come to mind. I can’t explain why, but I was in a hurry to feel grown up. When I wrote my bucket list, I was already engaged, so it was safe to say that I had that in the bag. And during our wedding planning, we were also in the process of looking for our first home. Crazy stressful by the way, and I don’t recommend doing both at the same time.
As for traveling it was relatively easy to cross off the list each year. We’d plan and saved for it, and work ourselves into the ground until our vacation was upon us. We were blessed and a little ignorant of just how much. When it came to starting a family, well, that didn’t go as we had hoped initially. May years of waiting, wondering, praying, and crying passed. But God is good, and in His perfect timing, we welcomed our first child when I was twenty-seven. My first bucket list was a success. Every item was checked off, and with time to spare.
Then life continued. My 30s came and went without a thought of that dear old list. We went from a quiet, small household of three, to a louder, larger family of six. I guess I became too busy living to be listing. But as I’ve gotten back into a kind of routine, though life is busy, it doesn’t seem as overwhelming as it once did.
And with another birthday just around the corner (5 months from now, but who’s counting) I couldn’t help but think of that list. I’m at a point in my life where I find myself changing again, though I’m sure the changing has always been occurring, it is only now become noticeable to me. I still loved the something, and maybe even more so, but I felt more comfortable with myself. That’s the gift your giving when you turn thirty. Self-doubt, though it still hangs around, you find yourself less willing to hear what it has to say. So now I’m free in a way I wasn’t in my 20s.
Now my bucket list looks a little like this:
- Get a tattoo (or two)
- Do something crazy with my hair
- Wear dresses/skirts more…and hats!
- Eat healthier and workout
- Write more and let others see
Upon seeing this list, my husband said it looks like I created my list out-of-order. And I’m sure he isn’t the only one to think this. Through my trails I’ve grown more courageous, and in the face of failure I’ve learned to change my course mid-stream. All of my experiences have led me here. Not to be a thirty year old pretending to be a twenty year old. But to be a woman comfortable in my own skin.
I credit my faith for this transformation. I am happy. Finding myself in this peaceful place has allowed me to challenge myself. To move outside your comfort zone and discover if there is another part of yourself that I didn’t know was there. I’ve decided to be a little more creative. For me that is. I want to trying new things without compromising who I am at heart.
If you haven’t created a bucket list, maybe you should try. Rename it, What I Hope to Accomplish if calling it a bucket list is too doom and gloom for you. Make it as detailed as the goals you have for your schooling or career. Or like mine, it can be a variety of things. Just think, dream, and plan.
My kids even liked my idea, so they’ve decided to create their own. On brightly colored paper they’ll be writing down what they hope to accomplish by the end of this coming school year. We’ll post each of them near the entrance of their learning center so they’ll be able to see it whenever they want. And from time to time we’ll revisit each together as a reminder of how far they’ve come.
I can’t wait to see what they have in mind.